May Be Offensive

Gotta love those Church Ladies and their typewriters! These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins
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The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice .
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done..
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'


hatshepsut

Another one I just copied and pasted into an email for my 87 year-old mom! She loves these...

Love it, keep em coming

Draclvr hope your Mom enjoys them. My 78 year old Mom loves them too. There's nothing like a good laugh.

hatshepsut

Okay, so that last one finally got me to really laugh out loud. It caught me by surprise, but the rest were sort of ho-hum and more or less ordinary, smiled at a few. I reckon I do tend to be picky about what makes me laugh.

I think most are like that mindysue . There's not much I don't find funny . Then again , some of the things I find funny , are not quite family friendly !

Dad just sent me this one :


Two Indians and a Tennessee Hillbilly
Were walking through the woods.
All of a sudden one of the Indians
Ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.
"Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"
He called into the cave and listened closely
Until he heard an answering,
"Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!
He then tore off his clothes
And ran into the cave.
The Hillbilly was puzzled
And asked the remaining Indian
What it was all about.
"Was that Indian crazy or what?"
The Indian replied
"No, It is our custom during mating season
When Indian men see cave, they holler
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening.
If they get an answer back,
It means there's a beautiful woman
In there waiting for us."
Just then they came upon another cave.
The second Indian ran up to the cave,
Stopped, and hollered,
"Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"
Immediately, there was the answer.
"Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep inside.
He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.
The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods
Alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave.
As he looked in amazement at the size
Of the huge opening, he was thinking,
"Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave!
It's bigger than those the Indians found.
There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!"
He stood in front of the opening
And hollered with all his might,
"Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"
Like the others, he then heard an answering call,
"WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!"
With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face,
He raced into the cave,
Tearing off his clothes as he ran.
The following day,
The headline of the local newspaper read....
NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!!!!!!

Good one Faust

hatshepsut

Why is this supposed to be funny? In the first place, a long drawn-out story lets one know there will be a *punchline* at the end, which spoils the unexpected surprise effect of real humor. At the cave I was thinking that the sound was an echo (cave-echo, right?) so I knew it wasn't what the guys were expecting, therefore at the last big cave I was ready for something to happen and the train was a total anti-climax (oops!) and boring! Obviously, this type of, uh, humor is not my kind. But I would like to know why it is for others, so can anyone explain this?

I have to agree that the punch line sort of gets lost in these long drawn out stories. The premise is still pretty funny, but in the "rules" of stand-up comedy, could have been delivered in about 3 or 4lines and then the punch line would have had more "punch." To be honest, in these long ones, I just read the first lines to get the gist of the story and head right for the last line!

Good point, mindysue, but still a good joke!

Good one Faust!

Thanks, Draclvr,
I think I understand now why this type of humor does not appeal to me. It's the fact, as you mentioned, that these jokes follow the rules of stand-up comedy. Since stand-up comedians usually work in nightclubs, the humor tends to be burlesque, boffo, crude, offensive, anything to get through the alcohol haze, I imagaine. Nothing subtle, unexpected, ingenious, or even original for that matter, so therefore the humor is boring to me. At least, now that I am over ten years old, when I thought it was funny. Well, not counting double entendres, which went right over my head, although I remember being aware that something was being said that I didn't understand, grown-up talk, not too interesting.

Everyone's tastes are different. It's the same with music, movies or tv shows. Something that I might find to be a piece of garbage, someone else wouldn't miss for it the world. It's all in what your tastes are. It doesn't mean that your tastes are more sophisticated than those who enjoyed the joke, but I failed to see why someone has to go through a lengthy discussion to explain why they liked it.

StarLite Moon wrote:

Everyone's tastes are different. It's the same with music, movies or tv shows. Something that I might find to be a piece of garbage, someone else wouldn't miss for it the world. It's all in what your tastes are. It doesn't mean that your tastes are more sophisticated than those who enjoyed the joke, but I failed to see why someone has to go through a lengthy discussion to explain why they liked it.

Well said !

Yes I agree StarLite everyone is different and likes different things. Some people have a sense of humor and see the humorous side of life and some people don't. I think if one takes everything to seriously to often they lose perspective. Laughter heals the heart and soul.

hatshepsut

I think it's the same with most things mindysue. I'm sure that you could name a host of things that you yourself find interesting or entertaining and, onfrom such a list, there'd be at least one thing that someone else would find mundane or fail to see where any interest or appreciation could lie. That's not to say that there's any right or wrong about such things. One person's junk is another person's treasure.

Yes, yes, people, I know that everyone has their own take on things better than you guys seem to, and that is EXACTLY WHY I asked the question. I want to learn about your side of the fence, and why you like it there. So first I told my side and then I gave everyone a chance to say their side, but so far nobody has taken me up on it. I'm not looking for a generic explanation of "how everyone has their own point of view" but rather an insight into what that POV might be. No need for any discussion, the choice is always up to each individual person. Please excuse me, as I saw no harm in asking, because I thought maybe someone would like to share their own reasons for their reactions to this type of humor. I like to know the reason WHY people think as they do, but maybe they don't think? Maybe they simply go with the party-line and knee-jerk reflex, and when asked WHY? they react with dignity about everyone being different. Actually, I'm thinking here that I'm the one who is different, you are all alike and seem to want it that way. I hope I haven't been offensive, I know this isn't a joke.

I'm not inclined to get into an involved discussion on this. No offense. Nevertheless, what I will say is this. All that know me know that I'm the very last person on this planet who could be labelled with a 'one who follows the crowd' tag. The very last.

Humor is subjective. It's based on an individual's experiences, moods, and perceptions. Some people respond well to physical humor, such as slapstick, some find wordplay irresistable, and some just enjoy general silliness. There have been many books written about the subject, Mindysue, if you're truly interested in it.

Oh, and yes, since you asked, I did find your comments offensive.

Well said Lady K.

I'm not inclined to discuss the subject to death either. People either find something funny or not. Humor is subjective. Just because a group of people find a joke funny, a movie or book good or a game enjoyable doesn't mean they are followers. It means they are a group who likes the same type of things. This is an adventure forum so most of the people you find here are going to be people who play games. You will also find that those same people enjoy the same things. That doesn't mean we are followers or the same.

Sometimes when you analyze a joke or anything else to death it is no longer funny or enjoyable. Isn't life difficult enough ? Can't we find some joy in life ? Can we not just laugh at something that strikes us funny. The whole point of a joke is to make someone laugh and feel a little better. When a joke makes me laugh I don't care why I thought it was funny. I'm just thankful someone helped make my day a little better and brighter.

hatshepsut

I feel like I should be laying on a couch here. Is mindysue studying to be a psychiatrist or psychologist. In the scheme of things, does it really matter. So before we post a joke do we have to run it by a bunch of strangers first. What's next grammar and spelling. I feel like I'm in grade 5. I'd like to hear a joke from mindysue, and myself I will be completely honest in my opinion. I'm not out to impress anyone, but I'm also not out to make enemies either. Being a part of the follower crowds or cults is not my forte. Ok, I've got a silly one here:

A (let's call him for the sake of NOT offending) hairless man buys a bottle of hair growing tonic, guaranteed to grow hair within three weeks. The man used it diligently for a month with no luck. So he writes a letter to the company to complain. Here is the contents of that letter.

To Whom It May Concern,

I bought a bottle of your hair growing tonic in hopes of growing my hair back. I've been using your product every day for 4 weeks. I haven't grown any hair on my head, but boy I've got the hairiest fingertips anyone's ever seen

So there analyze that.

StarLite the picture of those fingers will forever be burned in my brain


hatshepsut

To help put everyone's mind at rest, I've helped train a few shrinks way back in my younger days. I couldn't afford a practising psychiatrist, so I went to a clinic where one paid according to income, and the young doctors got their *real people* experience before they were let loose to go on their own. I got a funny story from that time, and it's true. I had to take some pyschological tests and one was a stack of cards with a statement on each card and you put each card in one of 3 piles: True, False, and I Don't Know. One statement was: "I laugh at dirty jokes." So I'm thinking: "Okay I laugh if I think the joke is funny, but I don't laugh if it isn't funny to me. So where should I put the card?" Can you guess? I put it in the I Don't Know pile. To this day, I wonder what they thought about that. But to go a little farther, I had 2 shrinks tell me I had a good sense of humor and I can't decide if it was because of where I put that card, or they were just trying to build up my ego, or maybe it was because I do have a good sense of humor. Any comments on that? lol...lots of love or laughing out loud?